The Problem with Guilt Part 4: We Overcompensate
We feel guilty. We think we’ve done something wrong. We try to make it right. When we can’t make it right, we overreact. One of the ways we overreact is to overcompensate. In other words, we try to make things up. We can’t make it right, so we work to make it better. Oh, Boy!
I’ve seen too many parents that try to make up to their children by buy things for them. They feels guilty about not spending enough time with them, or because we broke a promise (even when it’s out of our control) or we don’t think we do enough for them, the list is endless. We’re not doing anything wrong. We simply feel bad. Sometimes very bad & we want to make it better.
Overcompensating is another way of overreacting. We need to just take a breath & make a sensible decision when we become anxious & try to buy our way out of our guilt. I want you to understand. I’m not some perfect parent pointing fingers. I often overreacted & overcompensated our daughter out of guilt. This never made things better. In fact, it made things much worse. I spent too much money. I put my focus on the wrong things. I was afraid to say no. And this led to many problems, long lasting problems in our lives.
It’s hard to be strong. Sometimes, though, being strong is your only choice. Take a moment to examine the situation & determine where you are in the process, which of the 6 steps, 6 parts. Then do nothing until you can make a choice that works for you & your family!